17 Year Old Problems

39:7

You’re just like her, he yells.
You’re exactly like him, she spats.

Why can’t I just be me?

Though I guess she doesn’t really exist.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

“Forget about the world,

Think about you.”

But the minute I try to,

I’m nothing but the selfish woman now.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

Had it all really been nothing to you?

Do I really mean so little to you?

I wish I could forget you, but I can’t figure out what’s worse.

My not being able to, or my not wanting to.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

Do I need to cry in front of you,

Until my lips turn blue, before you’d begin to understand?

I’m not okay, this isn’t alright.

And you’ve lost all right.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

He blames me for all that she is,

She looks at me, and sees nothing but him.

Why am I even in between this?

I never asked to be here, so why am I punished for being around?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

They tell me, “You’re growing too fast”.

“Enjoy your youth, live a little.”

Don’t you see?

How could I, when this is what’s become of my reality?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

I know too much,

I don’t know enough.

I speak too much,

I don’t speak enough.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

You’ve sacrificed everything for me.

You repeat, and again you repeat.

Don’t you understand, how could I be thankful,

When I’ve never asked that of you?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

They called me stupid for caring,

They said I was an idiot, for being there for you.

But what else could I do, when I couldn’t afford to lose you?

It’s just a little pain, it’ll all go away. But I couldn’t stand, if you left me today.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

For years I stood by for you,

Settling things down, when it got out of hand.

With patience, I took the pain, I took the abuse.

And you throw it all back to my face.

How could you expect sorry to be enough?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

All my mistakes,

Like a public tribunal, you’ve displayed.

All my wrongs, mentioned in motion.

Yet you expect me to come out right?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

You have to understand, they say.

She’s gone through so much.

What about me, and the things I go through?

What about me, the person you all go to?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

Nothing I do, could ever be right.

Something wrong, you’d always find.

You get angry when I disappear, but how could I stay,

When you don’t even care?

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

I’m a brilliant actress, don’t you see.

Winning on stage, is nothing big to me.

For my whole life is a play,

But instead of Broadway, It’s a puppet play.

I wish I had 17 year old problems.

Take a listen, take heed, children of today.

Don’t allow your life, to end like how mine did.

This isn’t a fairytale, there’s no happy ending.

But this is reality, this is life.

Appreciate the 17 year old problems,

Cling on to it.

Because after that, it only gets worse.

But remember, as Ali ibn Abi Talib had said, “Hate no one, no matter how much they’ve wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you have been given little. Keep in touch with the ones who have forgotten you, and forgive those who have wronged you, and do not stop praying for the best, for those you love.”

It’s also so important to remember, no matter the sort of love you have in this world, be it the love of families, best friends, a special someone, a spouse, the list goes on…you will still be hurt. You will get hurt. Over and over again. Though, It is in those moments, that you will see, just how important it is to put Him first. Because He will never hurt you. He will not desert you. And when it feels like the whole word is against you, He will always remain with you.

And just because, how happiness isn’t yours today, or the next day, or the day after that, doesn’t mean it wouldn’t come. He does not try you, without a promise of a better outcome. He knows what’s best for you, for it is He, who has created you. For every hardship you go through, and if your patience remains, a reward from Him, you will surely receive. Don’t be deceived by the tribulations of dunya, this world isn’t meant to be perfect. He’s simply shaping you for a better life, a better tomorrow. In a home, in a place, where you came from, one you’ll eternally belong. In paradise, insha’Allah. ❤

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